Frequently Asked Questions

No. “Seldom asked” would be more accurate, and even that’s a stretch.

No. Most professional writers won’t even touch a script unless it’s submitted through proper channels. (Agents, managers, studio execs, etc.) This provides us a layer of protection. We don't want to steal or idea or inadvertantly steal your idea six months from now. (By the way, we don’t need to steal your talking dog show idea. We have a shoe box full of talking dog show ideas that no one wants.) If you send me an unsolicited script, I will return it back to you without even opening the envelope. Same goes for unsolicited brownies.

The Writer’s Guild of America allows people (even non-members) to register a script for a small fee. Apparently, this offers new writers some level of protection, but I'm not a lawyer so do due diligence.  Ha!  I said "doo-doo!"

First of all, stop saying “awesome,” it makes you sound like a ten year old. (If you happen to be a five year old, keep saying it. It makes you sound mature.) Secondly, it sounds like the job you want is “boss.” You know, where you get to order people around without actually doing the work yourself. I want that job too.

Every working writer has a hundred ideas for TV shows. The hard truth is, working writers don’t need your idea. They need big name talent attached, or a powerful producer, or the rights to a best selling book. Moreover, when a network buys a TV show from a writer, they’re not just buying the concept. They want the show to last 10, 20, or even 200 episodes. So they’re trusting that the writer has the experience to deliver that. Unfortunately, you need to bring more to the table than just an idea.

Look dude, I’m just telling you the hard truth. If you prefer to immerse yourself in fantasy, find an Instagrammer with access to an infinity pool and a rented lamborghini.  #BestLife and #nofilter are good places to start.

Back in the day, I broke in as a production assistant. It was low paying grunt work, but at least I was exposed to working writers, and was able to learn from them.

Today, the barrier to entry is much lower. You can shoot a video on your phone and post it to YouTube. Build a following, and soon Hollywood will be reaching out to you! I’ve been involved in a number of projects where a studio executive or producers discovered someone this way, and brought me and my writing partner on board to shepherd it.

Welcome to Hollywood. In fairness to Hollywood, you may not have a firm grasp on the definition of “sell.” When you sell something, it’s no longer yours. That’s like saying, “I want to sell my car, but I’m worried the new owner will paint it blue.” It’s their car now, they can paint it whatever color they damn well please.

Most networks or studios will assure you that they don’t want to mess with the creative vision of your beautifully written courtroom drama. And they may very well mean it. But the minute the boss tells them to cast a talking elephant in the show, you can bet your ass Lieutenant Dumbo is going to take the stand. He'll offer his long-winded testimony, the judge will admonish him to keep it brief, then the elephant will say, "I apologize, your Honor. Here's the trunk-ated version." The editor will crank up the laugh track and you'll rant and rave about how awful Hollywood is. And maybe it is. But you didn't seem to have a problem with Hollywood when you cashed the check.

A paper orchestra is the title of my forthcoming collection of personal essays. I consider this to be my best, most intimate work to date. learn more about it here.

Because I give away tons of free stuff! I've got 3 email lists:

1. Watchlist: this is a free newsletter I send out once a week. it contains my top tips for screenwriters, actors, directors and creatives. Sign up here.

2. free screenwriting lesson: this is the first lesson from my screenwriting course. It will change the way you approach story. grab it here. 

3. A paper orchestra: this is a free personal essay from my forthcoming collection. It's my best and most intimate work to date. come have a read! 

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